Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
