R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
oh god the rape fog is back!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
