i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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