I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
