He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
