i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
