i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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