Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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