Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
