Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
