Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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