She's JV to your varsity
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
