I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize