The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
