watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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