Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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