the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
