Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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