It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize