I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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