I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
