We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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