i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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