I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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