Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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