he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
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I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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