i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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