doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
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