ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
