i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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