At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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