Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
