Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
