He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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