I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
