They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Two words: blizzard sex
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize