Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
