where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
