how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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