She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
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That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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