I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
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