Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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