My room smells like vodka and shame
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We need to get me chipped asap
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
