I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
