where am i from again
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
