Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
