they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
