id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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