No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
