she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
