She announced her abortion via fbk
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
