I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
