Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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