It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
