Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
