you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
