I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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