Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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