he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
its liver damage thursday
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