How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
this hospital has no fireball
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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